Giving up striving

Have you ever felt you had to strive to gain people's acceptance or liking? That you had to always do something so people would think well of you? I find it so exhausting to chase after people thinking good of you all the time. That is a form of "fear of men". The Bible says the fear of men is a snare.  I sensed Him say...

"STAY WITH ME MY DARLING, BEAUTIFUL ONE. YES, I FIND YOU BEAUTIFUL TOO. I SEE BEAUTY VERY DIFFERENTLY AND I DO FIND YOU BEAUTIFUL. YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE TO ME, NOT LIKE OTHERS JUDGE ATTRACTIVENESS. I JUST WANTED TO LOVE ON YOU AND TELL YOU THAT I LOVE YOU AND FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE. I LIKE IT THAT WAY. I LIKE YOU. YOU ARE MINE FOREVER". 

"YOU WOULD WANT OTHERS TO THINK OF YOU A CERTAIN WAY IF YOU HAVE TO WORK HARD TO MAKE SURE THEY THINK THAT WAY OF YOU. STRIVING COMES FROM WORKING HARD, MAKING SURE YOU CAN GET THEM TO THINK A CERTAIN WAY OF YOU. YOU CAN'T CONTROL HOW PEOPLE THINK OF YOU NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WORK AT IT. YET YOU DON'T HAVE TO STRIVE TO MAKE ME ACCEPT YOU ANY MORE THEN I DO ALREADY OR FIND YOU ANYMORE ATTRACTIVE THEN I DO ALREADY. I JUST DO. I JUST ACCEPT YOU, FLAWS AND ALL. IN FACT, I DON'T PONDER ON THE FLAWS, JUST BECAUSE CHRIST ALREADY PAID FOR THEM. THIS UNSATISFIED HUNGER FOR APROVAL DOESN'T CHANGE, NO MATTER WHAT ACTIVITY YOU DO BECAUSE IT IS AT THE CORE OF YOUR BEING.  YOU VALUE PEOPLE THINKING HIGHLY OF YOU WHEN REALLY, YOU CANT EVER CONTROL THAT. AND WHAT DOES IT MATTER IF THEY DONT THINK HIGHLY OF YOU. WHAT IF THEY THOUGHT THE OPPOSITE? DOES THAT AFFECT HOW I SEE YOU? DOES THAT TAKE AWAY FROM MY ACCEPTANCE OF YOU? I WANT YOU TO RELAX IN ME SO MUCH THAT THE STRIVING CEASES. WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU? I NEEDED TO SHOW YOU WHAT IS AT THE CORE OF YOUR BEING THAT I WANT TO SET YOU FREE OF. I WANT YOU TO BE FREE. IT IS NOT THAT I HAVE NOT SET YOU FREE YET. YOU REALIZE NOW THAT I ALREADY HAVE. IT IS YOU WHO HAVEN'T ACCEPTED MY FREEDOM AS YET, AND MY WORK I HAVE DONE TO SET YOU FREE. THIS IS NOW A FORMAL INVITATION. WILL YOU NOW ACCEPT MY WORK I HAVE DONE ONCE AND FOR ALL FOR YOU? I HAVE SENT MY SON TO DIE FOR YOUR SINS. YOU ARE SET FREE AND THAT MAKES ME SEE YOU AS VERY ATTRACTIVE. I HAVE ALWAYS FOUND YOU ATTRACTIVE AND ALWAYS WILL. WILL YOU ACCEPT MY VIEW TODAY? COME TO ME MY DARLING. THERE TRUELY IS NO MORE REASON TO FIGHT FOR APPROVAL. THERE IS NO MORE REASON TO STRIVE. IT DOES NOT CHANGE YOUR VALUE NOR YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS TO ME. I AM YOUR GOD WHO FINDS YOU DEEPLY ATTRACTIVE, MORE THEN ANY HUMAN BEING WILL EVER, EVER FIND YOU ATTRACTIVE AND WORTHY. YOUR WORTH IS IN ME. CAN YOU RELAX NOW?"

Give Me Your Heart

The Lord would say...
"My child, give Me your heart. I delight in you and I receive your intentions and all depth of your heart as a sacrifice. I require nothing of you except your love, obedience, commitment and surrender. Give Me your heart. In your heart you carry all wealth you possess. Give Me your heart. I will keep it safe. I will guard it, protect it, water it, feed it until it blossoms. You can trust Me. Nothing you give Me will ever be wasted. Not ignored either. Not overlooked. I pay attention and I receive it. That is how I can bless you because everything you give Me, I will multiply. You me Me your time, I multiply it and do more with it then you can ever do with it and it will reach further then you intended. You give Me your heart and your affections and I will multiply in you what you can never do for yourself. So, give Me your heart, your life, your affections and all that is valuable to you. I guard and multiply them for sure!". 

Food for thought: Would you share what Scriptures come to mind as you read what I received some time ago from the Lord in prayer? What areas of your life are most difficult to surrender to Him? 

Lights, Camara, Action!!!

Wouldn't you love to be to be a star? One of the perks is getting to be on the Red Carpet for sure!! Camara's flashing, people yelling...

Yet some of us have been performing all our lives!!! No red carpets to attend, no awards, no perks whatsoever! I am raising my hand, I know what that is like... because I grew up having to perform constantly as a little girl to please my daddy. I had to work hard at being good all the time to earn his love and acceptance. Yet no matter how much I performed, I never felt loved and accepted by him, rather rejected and unloved. At least that is how I felt. (I thank God it was the exact opposite with my mom though...couldn't have felt more loved and wanted). But I know that formed in me this need to constantly perform to the point that I am extremely driven. Nothing wrong with being a hard worker. But when there is an "...oholic" attached to the word 'work', it isn't so good. I know I need God's healing from being a workaholic and being so driven that my mind has trouble resting. Yet I worry that my career would suffer in the future if I become less driven if that makes sense... So, I was chatting with God about that, how I have all these concerns about my future when it comes to my work and that I really want to be less driven and performance oriented. I kept praying for a while into my future and different aspects of my work. As always, He is ready to answer...

"STAY WITH ME. YOU ARE CONCERNED ABOUT TOO MANY THINGS. I DON'T CALL YOU TO LIVE IN THE FUTURE. I GUARANTEE YOU THAT THE SAME WANTS ARE IN MY HEART FOR YOU. YOUR DESIRES COME FROM MY OWN HEART AND THAT IS WHY YOU CAN REST KNOWING I WILL FULFILL MY PURPOSES FOR YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID THAT I WON'T DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. HEY, I'VE GOT YOUR BACK, YOU CAN LEAN IN ON ME. HIGH FIVE! WE GOT THIS. ISN'T IT FUN TO STAY WITH ME? I AM A FUN GOD".

Food for thought...This reminds me of Martha when she was so performance oriented and Asked Jesus to tell Mary to go help her and Jesus did also tell her that she was concerned about too many things. Luke 10:41. And in saying "stay with Me", He is suggesting I do what Mary did, sit at His feet. Can you find a steak of performance in your own life? How does this affect your work and or family relations? Would you share in the comment box and also add what other Scriptures come to mind reading what the Lord shared with me? 

On Earth As It is In Heaven...

So, there are times when we are overwhelmed in trying to deal with the same issues in our lives over and over. Maybe fear, maybe fear of men, maybe anger, maybe doubt... I had asked the Lord how to be completely free from issues that we have dealt with before. Is it only me that seems to repent over and over for the same heart issues? Yes, we have to continue to repent, recognize, admit. I wanted to know what Jesus had to say about His work in our hearts as I was sitting communing with Him...

He is always so patient when He responds. I felt the words start flowing: "THESE THINGS ARE INDEED HARD TO UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU ARE GOING BY HUMAN THOUGH PROCESS. HUMAN REASONING. NOTHING HEAVENLY MAKES SENSE IN THE PHYSICAL REALM. WE LIVE IN TWO DIFFERENT REALMS AND IT IS HARD TO UNDESTAND HOW THINGS ARE ESTABLISHED IN HEAVEN. SO, YOU MUST LEARN TO SEE THINGS FROM A HEAVENLY PERSPECTIVE. WITHOUT DOING SO, YOU WILL ALWAYS STRUGGLE TO UNDERSTAND MY WAYS. MY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. THIS I TAUGHT MY DISCIPLES TO PRAY. PRAY THAT WAY, PRAY THAT YOUR WAYS BE LINED UP WITH HEAVEN'S WAYS. PRAY THAT MY WILL BE DONE IN YOUR LIFE AS IT IS ALREADY ESTABLISHED IN HEAVEN. YOU MUST RECEIVE WHAT I HAVE ESTABLISHED IN HEAVEN. YOU CAN'T ON YOUR OWN BECOME ALL I INTENDED FOR YOU TO BE. PRAY FOR YOU TO RECEIVE IT.

YOU ARE VERY DIFFERENT HERE IN MY SPIRITUAL REALM AS YOUR CARNAL NATURE IS EXPERIENCING ON EARTH. THE TWO DON'T LOOK THE SAME AT ALL. I HAVE THESE PURPOSES FOR YOU, BUT THEY ARE BLURRED BY HUMAN NATURE. YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF THAT STATE AS LONG AS YOU ARE LIVING IN YOUR EARTHLY BODY. BUT YOU CAN PRAY FOR EACH ASPECT TO BE MADE WHOLE MORE AND MORE, ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. PRAY INTO IT. ASK ME, HUNGER AFTER MY WILL, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN. I WANT TO CHANGE YOU INTO WHAT I MADE YOU TO BE. IT IS RECORDED IN MY BOOKS. YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW GLORIOUS MY PURPOSES FOR YOU ARE. BUT YOU ARE CURRENTLY BOUND IN THE STATE OF THE SINFUL NATURE. YOU ARE RIGHT IN REPENTING AND RECOGNIZING YOU ARE SINFUL. WE CAN KEEP WORKING ON EACH ISSUE UNTIL YOU ARE MORE IN THE LIKENESS OF WHAT I CREATED YOU TO BE. TOO HARD FOR HUMAN MIND TO UNDERSTAND, BUT THIS BRINGS IT TO A SIMPLER UNDERSTANDING. GO WITH MY FLOW. I ASK YOU TO GO WITH MY FLOW".

Food for thought: Once the Lord also told me that my life story is written in His books, even things yet to come. What is your take on this? Do you believe our lives can grow deeper in becoming what God already intended and as it is already established in Heaven? Would you please share in the comment box some Scripture references that you were reminded of as you read what I sensed the Lord saying to me that day?

photo source... internet

Beating Yourself Down

Have you ever been so critical of yourself that you feel disgusted with yourself? Have you ever felt like you want to crawl into a hole and stay there? I was having one of those days.... Then I started typing as I asked Him what He wanted to say...

"THE ENEMY IS HAPPY TO HELP YOU BEAT YOURSELF DOWN TO POWDER. I AM NOT DOING THIS TO YOU. I LOVE YOU DISPITE OF ANY SHORTCOMING YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE. I AM HERE FOR YOU, THROW YOURSELF INTO MY ARMS BECAUSE I CAN CARRY YOU. I CAN CLEAN YOU UP AND DRESS YOU UP IN CUTE FRILLS. I LOVE WATCHING YOU DANCE IN FRONT OF ME JUST LIKE PARENTS GET SO MUCH JOY WATCHING THEIR TODDLER SPIN IN HER CUTE DRESSES. YOU BRING ME JOY, YOU TRUELY DO. THERE IS NOTHING THAT YOU CAN DO TO MAKE ME LOVE AND ACCEPT YOU LESS. I WON'T LEAVE YOU IN THE STATE YOU ARE IN. HOWEVER, YOU MUST WALK WITH ME AND ALLOW ME TO DO MY WORK IN YOU. MY WORK IN YOU IS FREE, BUT THERE IS A PRICE TO PAY. COME AFTER ME".

Picture Source: Internet 

Getting Hungry For God

Can you imagine feeling hungry if you are not interrested in food? I think I've felt that way before when I was sick. Too sick to be interrested in food. Then you don't feel too hungry at all. The same I find in our hunger for God. The hunger isn't there if we aren't interrested in a relationship with Him. Or sometimes we say we are interrested in Him, but our priorities prove a different reality. But I have learned that even hunger for God comes from God. He can make us hungry for Him if we ask Him and if we allow that hunger to keep growing in us by rearranging our priorities. This is what I received from the Lord one day...

"HUNGER FOR ME, HUNGER FOR ME. EVEN THAT HUNGER COMES FROM ME. IT IS ME MYSELF WHO TURNS IT ON LIKE A LIGHT. COME HUNGER FOR ME. PRAY FOR THAT RENEWED HUNGER AND YOU SHALL HAVE IT. HUNGER THAT IS NOT SATISFIED, YOU JUST WANT MORE. IT KEEPS GROWING. I JUST KEEP FILLING YOU. TRUST ME NOT TO LET YOU DOWN. I NEVER HAVE AND I NEVER WILL. YOU ARE MINE AND MINE ALONE. COME WALK WITH ME, THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE I WANT YOU, WHERE I PURPOSE FOR YOU TO BE. I LOVE YOU".

Picture Source: My own Instagram post. @SorayaRosaria

How to recognize the voice of the Holy Spirit

How do you know that your spirit truely heard from God? How do you know it is not your own imagination?
1. You are left in awe because the response/thought is revelatory. You could have never come up with that response/thought on your own. It is the Spirit of God streaming His thoughts into yours.
2. When you are done communicating deeply, you feel the issue has been resolved or your concern/question has been asnwered.
3. The response you receive from Him can be backed up by the written Word of God, the Bible (Logos). The Spirit does not contradict the written Word.
4. You are experiencing a sense of joy even if what you heard was not what you wanted to hear. This could be the case, but not necesarilly always the case.
5. Usually the thought/response is very different from what you would have thought yourself. It seems like you just sat infront of another person and heard their oppinion and it may not be like what you thought. Why? Because His ways are higher.

These are what I experienced in learning to become confident in knowing I am hearing God myself. Lets keep practicing hearing His voice.

Feel free to ask questions too, we can discuss further and build each other up.

                Picture Source: My own Instagram post. @SorayaRosaria

The Importance Of Rest In A Busy World.

There was this time in my life, last year, when I was burned out so badly I didn't have strenght even to work. It wasn't the first time I had crashed like that and that God had to tell me to take time off. But I felt guilty not putting my time into something important. So I figured I should at least put time into studying lots about the prophetic and possibly getting more involved in ministry, that way I wouldn't have to feel guilty about not doing anything. Yet while I was striving to feel some sort of accomplishment in another way other then my secular work, all the more I felt dead and so drained that I had nothing left to give. Not even in ministry. I took it to the Lord, who then spoke into my spirit:

"I LOVE YOU, UNCONDITIONALLY. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME. I LOVE YOU AS IS. YOU CAN TRUELY REST IN ME. I AM NOT CALLING YOU TO DO ANYTHING FOR ME RIGHT NOW. I DONT NEED YOUR HELP IN ANYTHING. I WANT YOU TO JUST BE IN ME. CAN YOU HANDLE THAT? HOW HARD IS IT TO JUST BE IN ME? JUST BE IN ME. THAT IS ALL I WANT YOU TO DO RIGHT NOW. JUST BE IN ME. I AM HERE FOR YOU, CARRYING YOU AND YOU CAN FEEL IT TOO. YOU CAN FEEL MY CONTENTMENT OVER YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE TO STRIVE TO DO ANYTHING. JUST BE. JUST ENJOY. THIS SEASON IS FOR YOU AND FOR ME TOO. ITS ABOUT YOU AND ME. ENJOY THE QUIET AND PEACE. I LOVE YOU".

Food for thought: Can you relate to being overly tired that you have nothing left to give? Who suffers the consequences of your physical or mental exhaustion? Do you take at least one day of the week off? What do you do on your day off? Play, rest, read, hang out with friends and/or family or more mental and physical activity such as grocery shopping, yardwork, websurfing or homework? Do you find it easy to just rest in the Lord and do absolutely nothing without feeling guilty? Do you agree that ministry can also drain you yet many times you assume God wants you to keep going?
Would you please share some Scripture references that you were reminded of as you read what I sensed the Lord saying to me that day?

Picture: my handwritten journal. Red lines are what I sense He is saying.

When God is silent...

Last winter 2012 I had experienced a burnout from being way to overworked. But on the spiritual side I was journaling feverish everyday, multiple times a day. It was the only way for me to be refreshed and stay connected to the Lord. But slowly over a few days I felt I had nothing more to give to God either in my journaling time. I was THAT exhausted. So I told Him...

"God I feel so empty. There is nothing left to give out, not even in prayer. I know that is fine with you. I feel like we are sitting silent next to each other. Do you care that we are silent? Don't you have anything you want to talk about? Anything deep you want to discuss?"

He responded gently, yet to my surprise: "NOT YET, I AM HAPPY HERE, SILENTLY SITTING NEXT TO YOU AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY TOO. I LOVE YOUR COMPANY AND I DON'T MIND US BEING SILENT. THIS IS LOVE ALSO. I LOVE YOU WITOUT WORDS EVEN. I SIMPLY LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO SIMPLY LOVE ME. NO WORDS OR DISCUSSIONS ARE NECESSARY TO EXPRESS OUR LOVE. REMAIN IN ME. I AM SILENT FOR A SEASON. BE OK WITH IT".

At that point I felt tears filling my eyes because I felt like He was not wanting to talk to me like we have so intimately for so long. I said: "I didn't know you don't mind being silent. I had a great run with you journaling and I thought that is what you would want daily of me. I realize there is no condemnation in being silent towards you, but it is a shock that you actually want us to be silent. That you don't mind it. That you actually want us to just be silent for a season. Can we discuss being silent then? I guess then we wouldn't be silent. This is weird".

I felt He was smiling and felt He said: "I AM NOT GIVING YOU THE SILENT TREATMENT. THIS IS NOT PUNISHMENT. THIS IS REFRESHING. YOU CAN RELAX. I AM YOUR GOD AND I LOVE YOU. WE LOVE EACH OTHER IN SILENCE. YOU CAN HAVE PEACE IN SILENCE BECAUSE YOU KNOW I HAVEN'T LEFT YOU. ENJOY THIS SEASON OF SILENCE. I LOVE YOU THROUGH IT".

And so followed weeks and months, where, even if I tried...His words didn't come. I could only read the Bible, write out my own prayers if I felt like writing, but no response. No dreams, no visions. It really felt empty. It was not fun at all, but eventually I got used to the silence knowing He'd come back... so I waited... The picture below expressed very well what that season felt like. It lasted 11 monhts!! Yes, it's been a year and He started speaking again... and I was delighted again.

Food for thought: They say distance makes the heart grow fonder... I experienced this first hand as my husband and I dated each other overseas for 3 years until we got married. Wow! That was crazy. How much do you long for someone you love and is far away? I believe sometimes God hides Himself so our passion for Him can grow even deeper. What is your take on this? Would you please share in the comment box and possibly add any Scripture references that you were reminded of as you read what I sensed the Lord saying to me that day?

picture: view from my front door looking into the street.

Trusting God - His ways

As I was praying about how God wants me to trust His provision and teach me when to depend on Him and when to take action, I asked Him: 'God, there is such a fine line between being responsible and just dropping all cares in your lap and throw my arms in the air. I don't know where the fine line is, where I am irresponsible in human standards and where I am trusting you according to your standards".

I felt He responded to me: "THERE IS THE KEY WORD. HUMAN STANDARDS. WE ARE NOT GOING BY HUMAN STANDARDS. I WANT YOU TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW. I HAVE A NEW WAY FOR YOU TO TRUST ME. WHAT DOES IT MATTER WHAT HUMAN STANDARDS ARE?

WHO SAID I OPERATE BASED ON HUMAN STANDARDS? REALLY, DO YOU THINK HUMAN STANDARDS IMPRESS ME? ARE YOU THAT UNFAMILIAR WITH MY WORD? HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? HAVEN'T YOU SEEN WHAT I HAVE DONE FOR MY PEOPLE ALL THROUGHOUT HISTORY AND HOW MY OWN ARMS SAVED THEM? DID ANY OF THOSE MIRACLES HAPPEN WITH HUMAN INTERVENTION? GO SEARCH AGAIN. READ CAREFULLY AND PAY ATTENTION BETWEEN THE DIFFERENCES WHEN HUMANS TOOK CONTROL AND WHEN THEY TOTALLY DEPENDED ON ME. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE IN OUTCOME? SEE FOR YOURSELF IF YOU CAN GET SUCH OUTCOMES WHEN YOU GET INVOLVED, WHEN YOU STAND IN THE WAY. I CALL YOU TO BE RESPONSIBLE, BUT I DO NOT CALL YOU TO HAVE LACK OF FAITH. I WILL TEACH YOU THE DIFFERENCE IF YOU LET ME. KNOW THAT MY WAYS ARE NOT HUMAN WAYS AND KNOW THAT HUMAN WAYS ARE NOT MY WAYS. IF YOU WANT TO LEARN ILL BE GLAD TO TEACH YOU MY WAYS. LETS WALK TOGETHER. I AM EXCITED TO PLAY THIS GAME WITH YOU. ITS LIKE PLAYING PEEK A BOO. I WILL CONTINUE TO SURPRISE YOU AND MAKE YOU GIGGLE. READY TO TRY"?

                                     Picture Source: My own Instagram post. @SorayaRosaria

God's work in your life...

I was just sitting there and wanted to commune with the Lord. I didn't necessarily have any concerns to bring before Him, so I said to Him: "What would you like to say tonight? I don't have a topic, but I would love to hear you say something revelatory. I love your voice and it resounds for days when you say something impacting. What impacting thing can you say tonight"?

I felt He in turn responded: "I LOVE YOU. WHAT CAN IMPACT YOUR SOUL MORE THEN KNOWING THAT I ACCEPT YOU FULLY AND LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY? WHAT CAN SATISFY YOU DEEPER? COME SOAK IN ME. TAKE IN, BREATHE IN MY LOVE AND LET ME SPREAD YOUR WINGS FOR YOU. AS I SPREAD THEM OPEN, I CLEAN THEM UP SO THEY CAN BE READY TO FLY AGAIN. COME LAY CONFIDENT IN MY ARMS KNOWING THAT WHEN I HOLD YOU, I AM CONTINUOUSLY DOING A WORK, WHILE YOU REST, EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T REALIZE IT. TRUST ME TO COMPLETE MY WORK. YOU WILL BE JOYFUL, NOT DISAPPOINTED. I CAN'T DISAPPOINT YOU. I AM HERE TO FULFILL ALL YOUR DREAMS IN MY PURPOSE. I LOVE YOU SO. STAY WITH ME, STAY HUNGRY FOR ME. I FILL YOU UP".

I continued: "It is surprising to know that I don't have to do anything to cooperate. But I can never make myself better or have the hope of being completely free from sin..."

He added: "STAY IN ME MY LOVE. WHO REQUIRES THESE THINGS OF YOU? WHO REQUIRES YOU TO COOPERATE? I REQUIRE NOTHING OF YOU. NOT EVEN TO BE GOOD. I AM GOOD, ONLY I AM GOOD. I DO MY WORK IN YOU, COMPLETELY. BE WILLING. STAY CONNECTED. BE OPEN TO ME. I DO THE WORK YOU CAN NOT DO IN YOURSELF. IT IS I WHO POLISH YOU CLEAN AND SHINY FOR MY PURPOSES. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS THEN? YOU CAN'T TAKE CREDIT. YOU CANT SAY YOU DID THIS IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH. I DO IT ALL WITH MY OWN ARM. AS YOU STAY IN ME LIKE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW".

Food for thought: Have you ever tried really hard to be good only to find that you still fall short? Do you find it easy to journal what you sense the Lord saying to you? Do you have specific ways in which you feel God speaks to you? Some examples are through the Bible, through dreams, through visions, His audible voice... etc. Would you please share in the comment box and possibly add any Scripture references that you were reminded of as you read what I sensed the Lord saying to me that day?

Picture Source: My own Instagram post. @SorayaRosaria

God's word to you..."Come to Me".

I had been feeling dry for a while as far as journaling is concerned. The Lord had told me that it would be a season of rest and silence where we were going to love each other without words. Months went by... I felt lonely for Him yet I knew He was there. But then one day suddenly His voice returned....

He whispered: "I see you. I can see you clearly. Come to Me. Don't be afraid. I am with you daily. Look into My eyes like you used to. Don't be afraid. Come to Me like you did before. I won't hide from you. Come to Me, don't be afraid. I am here, come to Me. I am not hiding. Come to Me. I am here for you. I am beckoning, come to Me. I am here for you. I won't hide. Come see Me. Come spend time with Me. This is Me, the One you already know. The One you already are familiar with. This is not new, this is not unfamiliar. You know Me. Come to Me. This is our place, our hiding place. You know how to find Me. Will you come now? Do I matter to you that much? I seek for you. Seek for Me like I seek for you. I am here in the same manner as before. In the same fashion as before. I am not late, I do not hide. I am here. Come after Me. Come pursue Me like you care. Like I mean everything to you. Come to Me.

I don't take from you, I don't steal from you. Come to Me and surrender to Me. I am here for you. I don't rob you, come to Me. I don't take away from you. Trust Me, I don't strip you. I don't rob or steal from you. The enemy has come to steal, kill and destroy. But I have come that you may have life, life abundantly. Stay with Me. I don't harm you. Trust Me. I am the Restorer of all things, yes, the restorer of life. I am here".

Food for thought: Have you ever experienced a dry or silent season even while you kept walking faithfully before the face of God? How did you get through that season? Can you discribe how you felt during that time? Do you find it surprising that God would "hide" Himself for a season? What do you think could be a reason why He would do that? Would you please share in the comment box and possibly add any Scripture references that you were reminded of as you read what I sensed the Lord saying to me that day?

                                Picture Source: My own Instagram post. @SorayaRosaria

God's Provision

How beautiful it is when we can sit with the Lord and ask questions that come from the heart. He is never surprised by what we are about to ask nor do any of our concerns bother Him. Well, I had a question... more like a complaint...

"God, we talked yesterday about your provision, that I should trust you more and that I should believe and learn from Biblical accounts that you did miracles for your people when they relied completely on you as opposed to when they tried intervening and creating limitations for themselves. But there are cases, real cases in the past where I felt and experienced that you DID NOT come through when I asked and pleaded for your provision in things that were very important to me. You did in many cases yes. But in others you didn't, yet you ask me if I have any proof of you letting me down or failing me. My memory says yes, I do have memories where I feel you did not come through in important situations. And if you say everything that is important to me is important to you, why were these things not important enough for you so as to provide for them like I begged? To the point that I have a hard time believing you will in future cases. So, what do you want to tell me this morning about these past non-provisions. Why were they not important to you? I prayed so much about them, didn't I? I believed, didn't I? They were important to me. Weren't they important to you? I know you are not offended by my question".

I felt that He patiently responded: "I AM NOT OFFENDED THAT YOU ARE ASKING, MY DEAREST ONE. IT WOULD BE FUTILE ANYWAY FOR MANKIND TO BE THE JUDGE OF ME. I AM THE RIGHTEOUS JUDGE AND MY WAYS ARE JUST. THERE IS NO MAN WHO CAN POINT A FINGER AT ME NOR CALL ME A LIAR. YOU ASK HONEST QUESTIONS AND I LOVE IT. YES, I HAVE ANSWERS FOR YOU. NOT ALL ANWERS COME IN THE TIME YOU WANT OR EXPECT THEM, REGARDLESS, I CALL YOU TO FAITH AND BELIEF. I AM THE GOD OF THE IMPOSSIBLE. I CHOOSE WHEN AND WHEN NOT TO RESPOND AND THAT IS THE WAY IT IS. IT MAY SEEM UNFAIR TO YOU, BUT I AM NOT AN UNFAIR GOD. I DO NOT OPERATE LIKE HUMAN JUSTICE SYSTEM AND YOU CAN'T MEASURE MY JUSTICE BY   HUMAN STANDARDS. I AM NOT A MERE MAN. MY WAYS ARE ABOVE HUMAN WAYS. THIS IS HARD TO COMPREHEND. BUT BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE FOR ME. MY DEAREST LITTLE CHILD DRESSED IN CUTE FRILLS, THIS IS ME BEING A DADDY TO YOU. IS IT SO THAT THE LITTLE GIRL GETS EVERYTHING SHE WANTS FROM HER DADDY, BECAUSE OF HOW CUTE SHE IS? CAN YOU SAY YOU GAVE YOUR CHILDREN EVERYTHING THEY WANTED? THOSE WANTS WERE IMPORTANT TO THEM ALSO. IN THEIR REASONING THEY COULD HAVE COME UP WITH MANY REASONS WHY THOSE WANTS WERE IMPORTANT TO THEM, YET YOU DIDN'T BUDGE. DOES THAT MAKE YOU AN UNFAIR PARENT? DID THAT MAKE YOU AN EVIL PARENT? YOU HAD YOUR STANDARDS OF WHAT WAS IMPORTANT AND UNIMPORTANT IN THEIR LIVES AT THAT TIME. I SEE ALL THINGS, I SEE ALL HEARTS AND I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU. SO, WHEN I DO NOT ANSWER A PRAYER, IT IS NOT OUT OF MEANNESS OF MY HEART NOR AM I IGNORING YOU. I DO NOT LOVE YOU ANY LESS WHEN I DO NOT ANSWER YOUR WANTS. I AM NOT A BANK THAT YOU CAN WALK IN AND CASH A CHECK ANYTIME YOU WANT. I AM THERE TO PROVIDE FOR YOU BUT I AM MORE THEN JUST YOUR PROVIDER. I AM YOUR DEFENDER, YOUR PROTECTOR, YOUR HEALER AND I HAVE YOUR BACK IN ALL SITUATIONS. YOU HAVE TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE FACT THAT I KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU BECAUSE I HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND. AM I AN EVIL GOD BECAUSE I DID NOT ANSWER YOUR PRAYER AT A PARTICULAR POINT IN TIME? NO, COME TO ME AND SIT HERE AND REST AND TAKE IN MY PEACE. YOU CAN SEE IN SCRIPTURE THAT NOT EVERYTHING WENT THE WAY MY PEOPLE WANTED. BUT YOU CAN SEE HOW I HAVE BEEN FAITHFUL TO THEM FOR GENERATIONS. I BLESSED THEM ACCORDING TO THEIR CHOICES AND THEY ALSO LIMITED ME ACCORDING TO THEIR CHOICES. SO, STAY CLOSE TO ME AND BE OPEN TO MY WAYS. YOU DO NOT WANT TO LIMIT ME DUE TO YOUR POOR CHOICES. I SEE YOUR HEART AND YOU ASK HONEST QUESTIONS. I HOPE YOU REALIZE THAT EVEN WHEN I DID NOT ASNWER, I AM A GOOD GOD AND HAVE YOUR BEST INTEREST IN MIND". 

Picture Source: My own Instagram post. @SorayaRosaria